The other day, a photo of someone wearing an Albizia ring was published without permission at a store where we are selling. I have spoken to the store about the matter, the image has been deleted, and they have politely apologized, so it's no longer an issue. However, I explained to them why I didn't want to post photos of them wearing the ring, but I still felt that they didn't really understand, so I decided to write a little about it, even though I don't really have anyone in mind.
I once tried wearing a ring when asked. It was a doublet stone ring with lapis lazuli and rutilated quartz. There is only one of them in the world (it's already buried, but it may still be on Instagram). It was a long time ago. I took a photo wearing it on my hand. However, I thought about it later and have decided that I probably won't do it again no matter how much I'm asked. If I ever publish a photo of myself wearing a ring in the future, I want you to think that the designer has lost his soul, or please let me know if you see it somewhere because it is unauthorized. If it has lost its soul, it's no longer worth buying, so please abandon it.
There are many brands that post photos of rings being worn, and you can see the size, so why don't you post them? I understand. I think it would be easier to order online if you could see the size, and it would be easier to imagine it. Maybe you would even want to go to the store to look at it. But I don't want to post them. Even when I sell rings online or through a lottery sale, I don't post photos of rings being worn. I don't want to post them so much that I have to post an image with the measurements written on it and ask people to cut a piece of paper to that size and try it on their finger, which is super troublesome (I'm so impressed that everyone is so accommodating). I absolutely don't want to post them.
why.
This is a personal experience of a designer, so I'm sorry, but I know it's a bit strange, but I'm a shameful woman. I've gotten old enough that I've stopped thinking of myself as shameful, and I've acquired the skills to somehow get past the minimum line of shamefulness, but I'm still living with the idea that "I'm shameful" that has been imprinted on me over and over again throughout my 42 years of life, which has become quite a long time.
I have repeatedly heard the message, "I am not beautiful," and lived my life reading it into the hidden message, "Being beautiful is valuable," which is dominated by lookism.
I think it's about time I stopped worrying about it, but it still pops up every now and then when I forget about it. I'm 170cm tall, not slender, have very high bone density, a sturdy frame, long arms, a big skull, can't smile, laugh out loud when I'm having fun, my hands are big enough to hold a basketball with one hand, and my post-pregnancy diet didn't go well at all. When I was standing at the storefront, I was told, "I don't want a big woman like you to design such beautiful things." Well, I'm not a "beautiful woman" to flatter anyone.
That's why I hated fitting rooms.
I really hated it. Even now that I'm older, I still hate it. When I take a piece of clothing to the fitting room saying "this is cute," and they give me the largest size, but I can't zip it all the way up, I feel the most miserable in the world. When I see a picture in a magazine and think it's nice, I go to the store, but when I try it on, it's completely different from what I had in mind, and I get really fed up and feel like I'm no good at all, and I feel hopeless. It's okay if it happens once, but if it happens several times in a row, you don't want to go shopping anymore. You don't know why you're shopping, you apologize to the clerk even though there's no need to apologize, and at times like that, there are hardly any clerks who will say, "I'm sorry we don't have your size and we have a poor selection of products."
So before, I thought it was my fault for not being able to fit into the designs they put out. That I wasn't beautiful because I wasn't thin, and that I was no good because I was far from the standard model that society had in mind. I didn't say it to anyone, and I didn't complain, but I went to Europe to buy clothes, and I think it definitely hurt me. It's been like this for my whole life.
When making an advertisement, a lot of effort is put into making it look attractive. Even the smallest image is calculated to look nice and stimulate the desire to buy. It is made with the message that if you get this, you will surely become a wonderful person. Of course. Because it is an advertisement. So when taking a photo of someone wearing it, the person who prepares the photo will surely choose what is called a "beautiful hand." To make the ring look as attractive as possible, they will choose a beautiful hand that matches their taste, that is attractive, that they would like to have. Of course. So in magazines and advertisements, beautiful hands are wearing beautiful jewelry.
But when I started making jewelry myself, I wondered, "Do people really need that?" There are so many different people in the world, with so many different bodies, hands, fingers, and lives, and so many different people who want to wear jewelry, but even if you just look at our hands, there are so many different kinds, so do people really need that?
I'll say it again. Hey, do you really need that? I'm sure there are some people who have never felt that way. But I think those who understand will understand. I feel an emotion that is almost like anger. I want to blow up that unnecessary embarrassment I felt at the store, that petty despair, that hopeless misery. At least in this tiny little storefront that I'm making.
Was it my fault? I ask myself again now. No, neither you nor I are to blame. It's the design's fault for not providing something that suits you/me. It's the advertisement's fault for only proposing aesthetic beauty. Why should we make our customers feel miserable when they come to our shop?
So, at the very least, I don't want you to feel even a trace of that in the things I make, or in the stores where I stock them. And if you're lucky enough to come across a stone that suits you, I want you to go home smiling and thinking, "This is the best thing in the world for me!" I don't care about anyone else who might suit it. It doesn't matter. You don't need to remember for even a moment the hands of someone else who is slender and beautiful and smiling and seems to listen to what anyone says.
I'm probably pretty angry. Of course, I know there are creators who aren't like that, and that's why I've somehow managed to survive and get to where I am, but fashion, beauty, and jewelry are still spewing out the message that "being beautiful in this way is happiness." They continue to hurt people in small, tiny ways with advertisements that push down those who don't deserve them and select buyers who are worthy. There's no such thing as a perfect woman or a perfect man, no matter where you look.
I really hate the way all kinds of advertisements and designs force people to be "beautiful women." And I hate the fact that we live in a world where we lose confidence just by looking in the mirror every day and feeling sick, and feeling depressed in the fitting room. I truly don't want anyone (girls, boys, or anyone who isn't either) to live with such feelings.
I want to say this to anyone in the future, but also to anyone who may be a woman, a man, or neither, who has endured and survived. You don't have to try any harder to be beautiful (or strong and manly). You're the best just the way you are, so just smile. There will be days when you're in a bad mood, nights when you want to cry, days when you can't help but get angry, and days when you just can't smile, but isn't that okay? I would like to create something like that that will be there for you at all times.
Every time I see someone in a store saying, "I don't think something this beautiful would suit me," I get angry at my own helplessness and cry alone in the middle of the night. I'm sorry I didn't explain it well enough. My message was still weak. You don't have to say that. I do this because I want you to choose what you like, wear what you like, and laugh from the bottom of your heart when you want to laugh. At least I, I'm the only one who makes this not for some beautiful chosen woman (or for some man who is a symbol of valiant strength), but just for you. You can believe me. I want you to believe me. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. I hope I can deliver a stone that will make your life a little more fun and reassuring. There's really not much I can do. But I think, believe, aim, and make it.
That's why we don't publish photos of our jewelry being worn. We want you to meet the jewelry alone, without anyone else getting in the way, and then decide if you get along with it or not, and whether you want to live together from now on. We don't want anything else to get in the way. That's the real reason why Albizia doesn't publish photos of our jewelry being worn (it would take too long to explain, so I've skipped over a few details).
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